As we get busy with life and daily responsibilities we lose sight of the "here and now"—the moments, you might say. And before you know it, those little moments add up to hours, days, weeks, and years. All of a sudden, you stop and ask yourself, "where in the world has all the time gone?" "Wasn't it just summer before last that we went on that road trip to see your sister" you might ask your partner. When they reply, "No silly, her kids were in junior-high then; they're nearly finished with college!" Whoa, close to ten years, just like that—gone! Or so it seems. How did you lose so many gazillions of moments—there's so many! Where did they go?
Sometimes we become aware of the present moment just by realizing how quickly so many moments have flown by. And sometimes life itself snaps us into the present moment through major events—happy ones and sad ones—like weddings and having babies or illnesses or life-altering accidents. My car accident a few years ago, for example, made me hyperaware of the moments I was losing by staying in a job that I no longer enjoyed. My work used to be fulfilling but somewhere along the way things changed and it was no longer rewarding. Not only did my job not fulfill me, it was draining me, depleting my energy, and I was even getting sick. I was not managing the stress very well and it was killing me. Then the accident nearly did just that. In retrospect, the car accident was a God-send. I am not only alive, but I'm very healthy, and doing work I love!
The accident literally stopped me in my tracks. And it's where I learned the true meaning of present-moment awareness. I became fully aware of each moment—leaving an indelible imprint in my mind of the whole accident as it unfolded. It's true what they say about things like that happening in "slow motion". But a few moments after everything came to a halt, facing southbound from the northbound lanes, in the middle of 4-lane freeway, I sat in the stillness staring at stunned faces of drivers staring back at me. White knuckling their steering wheels, unblinking, in shock over what almost just happened to them, they sat unmoving, fixed in time. It's like I was on stage and they were my audience; mesmerized by my performance. Perhaps in shock that I was staring back, alive and no one was dead. Were they about to applaud? It was the weirdest feeling being stared at like that, in that place. But then, I came to ...realizing I'd just escaped death. Tears came as the weight of it all set in. I'd been spared. I'm not sure what it meant for the guy who hit me, but it was a wake-up call for me. It caused me to pause and reevaluate my life; it snapped me into reality. Thanking my guardian angels, I felt divine love deep in my heart. I'd just experienced a miracle.
As I lay strapped to a back board in the ambulance on the way to Seattle's trauma center, my surroundings became crystal clear. The specks of gray in the EMT's blue eyes, the sound of the pavement beneath the tires, the churning axles, the squeaky chassis just a few feet below my head, the siren of the ambulance, the bumps in the road as we climbed the hill to the ER. The medic checked my vitals and talked with me as I witnessed the calming presence within my heart. Clarity came from deep within as I had the awareness that I would finally need to come into my own—my purpose—if I intended to stick around. I needed to start living my life in accordance with my soul, my Truth. This accident needed to happen. I silently kept thanking God; not for protecting me, but for correcting my course in life.
It's what I was "not" aware of that showed me the accident was no mere accident. It was life correcting itself, correcting me, getting me back in alignment. I was not fully aware of, or accepting the potential consequences of, the fact that "not living" my life—with joy and purpose—was killing me. I knew something was off, but I just kept putting off doing something about it ....one more day, you know.
Paradoxically, nearly losing my life brought me into the present moment where I got a good look at how I was living my life. What I was not aware of—that I was not living in accordance with my soul's purpose—brought me into full awareness that I must get reacquainted with my soul and make some changes. Full-Circle Awareness.
To come "full circle" means to arrive back where you started; that would be my Truth, or Soul, in this case. Full circle awareness begins when you become aware that a circumstance (living in opposition to my Truth) causes a consequence (my accident) and then using the results of the consequence (being jolted into and accepting reality, then taking responsibility) to gain insight—awareness—for how to improve the original circumstance (how I was living, or not living, my life).
I needed that accident to bring me full circle, back to where I started—back in touch with my Soul—because I was choosing to ignore the more subtle signs; illnesses, unhappiness, and general apathy. The trauma forced me to become fully awake—aware—and ready to accept that I'd lost touch with my true essence and needed to figure out how to find my way back home.
It isn't necessary to go through a major event like a car accident to become present. But if we go through life without at least some moment-to-moment awareness—and take personal responsibility, ownership, for the changes needed—these major events will likely do the job for us. Bringing us into the present moment, here, now and fast! It's like Mother Nature correcting the ecosystem of the forest; it's needed for long-term sustainability—and it's inevitable.
To go through life with the blinders on at warp speed, like I was doing, is unnatural. The flowers are there for us to admire, smell, and sometimes pick for our tables. We are meant to smell the freshness of new rain, get caught in it on occasion where we are invited to dance and splash in a puddle or two. We are to daydream as we watch the clouds float by with the changing winds and imagine what it must be like to soar like a bird. When did you last look up at the sky? For me, it had been a while until that day I was strapped to a trauma board.
Try this. Stop, Look, and Listen. What is it that you are doing right now? How does whatever it is that you are doing feel, smell, sound, taste, or look like? Are you inhaling your lunch or have you stopped to enjoy the flavors. Have you considered how that food made it onto your plate? I don't mean you! Who grew, harvested, and shipped the vegetables to the place where you got your food?
The act of awareness is paying attention to your surroundings, listening to your heart, and also accepting what is. I often say, "it is what it is"—meaning, reality. Accepting that "it is what it is" can be hard sometimes and requires deep honesty and personal responsibility. Explore what's painful or doesn't ring true within the "what is" (reality) and work to make it right. Upon examining your "what is" you will become at least a little more aware of it—giving you something to work with. See if you can find a "full-circle awareness" opportunity in your life. One that's happened, to learn from; or one that may be looming, to work with. This Awareness, and acceptance of reality, helps you gain clarity on what next step to take for coming Full Circle, back to your Truth.
